Ah, Homecoming. I love this time of the fall semester—a mere week jam packed with an insane amount of events in between classes and other responsibilities. Don’t you just love it—Rushing to buy tickets between classes and then after classes, you have Spirit Week!
My favorite part is how, every year, Gallaudet professors stupidly set deadlines for this assignment or that major paper during this week. Then they lie to themselves: “This year, this year it’ll be different and these students I have will turn everything in on time!” How silly. And kinda sad.
If you needed some hand holding on why you should go to Homecoming events (Really?! Do you?!), this is the list for you. Go through it, check off the ones that apply to you, and then I expect to see you there!
10. It’s fun. Sorry. Did I just disappoint you a little by crapping out on this list already? I’m trying to tell the truth here, people. The main reason why we show up to Homecoming events is because we’re all looking for a good time.
9. Gallaudet really comes alive during this time. What are you seriously doing with that—no! Turn that TV off, get out and join Spirit Week! See what the moon looks like shining over Hotchkiss Field, reflecting off the sweaty faces of undergrads as they battle for the first prize, a handful of points.
8. Have you ever crab crawled backwards with an egg in your mouth? Hopped around the campus on a pogo stick? No? Well it’s OK–many people haven’t either. Spirit Week is full of quirky activities that people achieve for a simple objective: to win. Come to an event and you might leave with a brand new checkmark on your bucket list.
7. It’s really your once-in-a-year opportunity to see wasted people engaging in absolutely inane conversations and dancing moronically. Homecoming puts people in a different spirit than your usual house party or a dorm theme party. It’s a different kind of hilarious. I usually leave with several of memories and a few “WTF did I just see?” They’re always great for laughs the day after when you’re nursing a hangover.
6. The population of Gallaudet doubles during the weekend. If you’ve already “checked off” all of your hook up options on the ol’ Kendall Green, be sure to check out the fresh batch coming from RIT and elsewhere!
5. Speaking of RIT, this is also your opportunity to show them Tigers how to drink. These RIT people are a completely different breed, coming from an entirely dry campus. Trust me, they don’t know how to have a good time with a Jell-O shot. Fun times will be had.
4. Tell me about other opportunities we have to experience elementary school activities with a collegiate mind? When was the last time you had the chance to swing a water balloon around and not look like an idiot? That’s what I thought. Homecoming Spirit Week events are like non-stop field days! You know you miss those.
3. What’s the point of going to a school and not supporting it at all? If you don’t even at least go to at least one Homecoming game and drunkenly cheer on our Bison, just transfer to NTID already. They’ll be happy to have your apathy.
2. It’s the only time you can drink nonstop on the campus. Pre-party for the Spirit Week event night, then post-party until it’s time to go to class. Be sure to perk yourself up with a bit of the hair of the dog to survive. If you’re going to go to at least one Homecoming game, the soccer games are the best option. They don’t care how much you drink!
1. If you go to the ballroom/clubroom (whatever), you might have a chance at seeing the SBG President arrested! It happened once during my sophomore year and it was easily one of the best things about that night, definitely topping dancing with horny frat boys. I can only hope that beautiful miscommunications between the intentions of wasted deaf people and paranoid security guards will blossom into drama like that again.